3rd Annual Retreat Weekend
A gray jay friend coming in for a peanut Mike put out for her
We organized and led our 3rd annual camping retreat here at EM last weekend. It started in the evening on Friday August 15 and ended after lunch on Sunday August 17. There were 7 of us in total, although one person, sadly, wound up feeling quite ill when they arrived. They were unable to participate in any of the programming and rested all weekend. Part of our mission here at Empty Mountain is to make available a place for folks to rest & heal, in the loving presence of the woods. We dearly wish our friend wouldn’t have been sick during our retreat, of course, but she reported feeling grateful to be resting in the quiet woods with all of us nearby.
Among our many experiments here at Empty Mountain, we are also playing around with and testing out different programs and schedule flows when we host days of mindfulness and retreats. A couple of things I have special interest in: 1) Finding a way to blend & balance both Noble Silence and open social time and 2) Finding creative ways to be together in community without the need for talking.
Our outdoor program area set up
One thing I often struggle with when I am on retreats in the Plum Village tradition is the presence of too much talking. For me personally, the period of Noble Silence is way too short. Typically it starts in the evening at bedtime and ends after breakfast the next day. So most of it happens when everyone is asleep. I’ve also been on many lay retreats when there is virtually no time set aside for open socializing, which can also feel out of balance. So I am working on finding what feels like a good pairing of both shared quietude and open social time in our short retreat weekends. Thus far, I feel like it’s been working pretty well.
We start Noble Silence Friday night after our welcome & intro circle, which extends until Saturday afternoon around 5pm. We have open social time for the rest of the evening on Saturday, which includes dinner and whatever we decide to do after we eat, which is unstructured community hang-out time. During this last retreat, we had a small campfire after dinner. (It’s wildfire season here in Montana but we checked on the fire status and it was moderate at the time, which meant small campfires were okay so long as people stuck close by them and made sure to put them all the way out.) We all sat around the fire chatting and had such a nice time together. Our friend who was sick even managed to come and join us for a little bit.
Campfire on Saturday night
I am someone who values connecting deeply with others. And one of the best ways I’ve experienced to feel closer to people is to share silence with them. For me, sharing silence with others nourishes the bonds of intimacy and is powerful spirit-medicine. Group sitting meditation and group meals held in silence are just my favorite.
A few years back I attended a group called Reflective Morning Movement. It was led by a lovely woman named Jodi and held at a dance studio in Missoula. It took place super early in the morning - right up my alley! - and involved a music set list she put together. The group started with a short sit in silence and then, gently, music would start to trickle in. There was no guidance offered or instruction. Folks just moved around the space, which was dimly lit, if and as they wanted. There was no talking whatsoever. That was one of the “rules”. I loved that group so much. It was perfect for me. Music. Dance. Early in the morning. Being together with others but without the pain of small talk or trite surface conversation. Jodi nailed it. For me, anyway. I’ve also enjoyed attending ecstatic dance gatherings in the past, which also has a no talking policy on the dance floor.
Quiet Group Activity Time
One of the experiments we are running during our retreats is an optional self-guided morning movement session before I sound the outdoor wake up bell to rouse folks from slumber. From 6:00-6:30am, folks can join me by the campfire to move & stretch if and as they like. I have gentle electronic or instrumental music playing in the background and I set out a ground covering so folks can be on the ground without getting dirty. The wake up bell is sounded at 6:30, and our sitting meditation session starts at 7am.
The other experiment we are running is something I still need to find a better name for. I call it Quiet Group Activity Time (QGAT). (If you can think of a better name please let me know.) During our last retreat we had this session following the rest period after lunch. This retreat, however, I scheduled it before lunch. QGAT involves all of us coming together to do our own activity without the inclusion of talking. It’s a quiet time for us all to be together in a shared space while also doing our own thing. We let folks know about this ahead of time and ask them to bring along something to do during it. Ideas include: reading, drawing, journaling, stretching, resting, knitting, meditating. It’s a new endeavor we’re trying out. Personally I really enjoy it. And we’ve received some positive feedback from others as well. How often do we share quiet space with friends? Not often. There is almost always the expectation or pressure to talk and chat and engage verbally in dialog. These two experiments we are running are my attempt at infusing a different kind of deeper engagement and connection time with others on the path of practice.
In the canvas tent on Saturday afternoon
Since we have limited infrastructure here at EM, we erected a large canvas tent and covered it with a giant tarp to make it water proof in case it rained, which it did a little bit. We used the canvas tent for our group sharing circle on Saturday afternoon. As part of our retreat programming we also enjoyed outdoor walking meditation and qigong stick exercises. On Sunday we took a silent hike up the canyon to a place we call the Cedar Grove Trail. Walking at a moderate pace, we got to the trailhead in around 45-minutes. I then gave a short practice talk by Keystone Creek. (To listen to the talk I gave, please click here.) Up in the cedar grove we also had our closing circle. Noble Silence ended after the circle and we enjoyed open social time after that. Some folks left a little early but some of us had a social lunch together at EM, which ended our retreat.
Eating berries along the Cedar Grove Trail on the way back to EM
Gathering with folks on the path of practice is just one of my favorite things. Connecting with people in intentional ways; sharing silence; engaging more heartfully vs surfacey; sharing time & energy with people who are practicing to show up and be more mindful & skillful is a well of richness and joy. The days of mindfulness we host are something I dearly enjoy, but there’s something extra special about being able to spend a little more time together in community, even if it’s just a couple of nights. It’s nice to have more space and the flexibility of time in order to appreciate the company of others a little more.
Small groups of people is where it’s at for me. Big retreats have very little draw for me. I am interested in being able to more deeply connect with folks, which can really only happen when there are way less people involved. I will take a retreat with 7 people attending over a retreat with 150 any day.
Regardless of the size of the group, our physical presence is such a gift to one another in the sangha. We show up. We spend time together. We open our hearts together. And when we find our tribe, we have the opportunity to go all in.
